Lol short but elegant and sweet. Though even for an intro it could have been longer

--
A person is smart, but people are stupid

Savor what you have left, because there are always others who would gladly take it.

Proud Member of Project Reciprocation~

i know its really short. I was like half my original intor, but i decided to post up this version first ans post the other half and the next chapter up soon

--
This is my Timey-Wimey device, It goes thing when there's stuff
-the Doctor


DING!!! hey look there's stuff

Lol ok i didn't mean anything by your prologue being short because prologue's aren't suppose to be 17 pages like mine lol. I'll read your first chapter too if you want so i can see what you can really do lol. And you can take a look at some of mine since i write too xD

--
A person is smart, but people are stupid

Savor what you have left, because there are always others who would gladly take it.

Proud Member of Project Reciprocation~

I saw this on :devThe-Liteati: comment exchange and decided to give my thoughts to you. I agree with ~NebulousDreamer, it is rather short but it works.

You describe things nicely and as a prologue you certianly leave questions for the reader to answer, but maybe a bit too many. Give more description on who this person is, I think that would boost the appeal. For example, I like to know about the

The second paragraph is too long, I suggest breaking it in half, just to help things flow better.
in utter chaos. Sighing, I raised
Here would be a nice place to break up the paragraph.


Sighing, I looked up at the sky.
Sighing, I raised my arms to sky
Though this is a good way to show their dismay of what the character sees, you don't need to re-use it. Does the character feel sad when looking at the city, perhaps they shed a tear or turn away from the scene? Use that instead of having them sigh and looking or raising their arms to the sky.

My eyes wandered to the horizon settling upon the city of New York... buildings of steel and glass towering above the ground ...Few buildings stood upright. Most were irreparable and lay in utter chaos.
There are a few things in this passage:

1. The first sentence is a little akward perhaps chaning it to My eyes wandered to the horizon and settled upon the city of New York. would help.
2. I can see the city has been razed but you describe it as standing as well. You say few buidlings stood upright but you also describe how they towered above the ground.
2 1/2.When the character looks upon the city, the line My eyes wandered to the horizon settling upon the city of New York. Glowing softly in the distance, with buildings of steel and glass towering above the ground. just doesan't fit with the rest of the description, it makes it seem as if the city isn't destroyed.

Closing my eyes, I reached inside myself. I called on the wind, reaching within myself for
This seems repetative, try using different phrasing for the first, instead of "reached within myself" try "searched inside my soul" or something like that. It eliminates the repetition.

I liked it it's a good prologue and iut does interest the reader and make them want to know more. Very good job dear!

--
^{Hello world! I love you.}

thanks for the critique....

I will write more soon, but i dont really know when because of school and stuff..

Thanks though for the Fav.

--
This is my Timey-Wimey device, It goes thing when there's stuff
-the Doctor


DING!!! hey look there's stuff

No problem dear! I hope I helped.

Oh, that's no problem, do let me know when you post more though, okay?

You're welcome!

--
^{Hello world! I love you.}

As IrrevocableFate I found this at :devThe-Liteati:.

I haven't even noticed some of the things mentioned in this comment, but I'll try to give you my critique. Since English is my second language, I can't really say anything about your style, but I haven't understood some things that good and thought I might tell you.

Mostly, the part about New York was a bit confusing. I'm still wondering if it's even possible to make out the steel and glass buildings if you're just seeing the city on the horizon. In my opinion cities tend to become more of a greyish blur if viewed from a great distance. Especially when it's dark or getting dark and you can see just the lights.
I'd say it's happening somewhen between the night and the day, because your character can see both the ruins near him and the glowing city in the distance.
Another thing I noticed was the destroyed city. I needed to read it twice before I understood that there was a now gone city and New York. In the first sentence, it seems like your charakter is in a perfectly normal situation. The atmospere is rather thougtful and maybe a bit sad, though.
But than there's suddenly the mentioning of ruins around. I thought 'Were are these ruins from?' I read on and it sounded like the ruins were surrounding your character and he's on ground level.
But then, he vanishes from a rooftop and left me confused. I thought he was amidst some ruins, with only a few (probably quite insecure) standing buildings left. So I read it again and noticed the mentioning of the rooftop in the first sentence.

I hope this was understandable and helpful... Tell me about any major mistakes or ask if you don't understand something.

Now to the parts I liked :
I like the sentence with the 'sea of clouds' and the idea with the wind. I think it isn't too short for a prologue, although I prefer longer ones. There are some questions to get the reader's interest and it sounds like an interesting story.

Just another thing that just came to my notice: There's a fullstop missing at the very end. Nothing too big, but it kind of bothers me.

I'm interested in the other half of your original prologue and the first chapter, so you got at least my interest with this.

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Feel free to point out my grammar and language mistakes...


Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.